What’s Your Name, Man?

A dramatization of recent events:

Dad, paying for lunch with cash: “Quick, tell me, who’s on the 10 dollar bill?”

Me: “You mean the ten dollar founding father without a father
Got a lot farther by working a lot harder
By being a lot smarter, by being a self starter…”

Dad: ”Okay, Okay”

voluptuary

I just really like today’s Word of the Day. It’s appropriate for this time of year. That, and it sounds cool to say it. 😉

voluptuary \vuh-LUHP-choo-er-ee\, noun:
A person devoted to luxury and the gratification of sensual appetites; a sensualist.

adjective:
Voluptuous; luxurious.

Colette used to begin her day’s writing by first picking fleas from her cat, and it’s not hard to imagine how the methodical stroking and probing into fur might have focused such a voluptuary’s mind.

–Diane Ackerman, “O Muse! You Do Make Things Difficult!” New York Times, November 12, 1989

Though depicted as a decadent voluptuary, she remained celibate for more than half of her adult life.

–Michiko Kakutani, “Cleopatra Behind Her Magic Mirror,” New York Times, June 5, 1990


Voluptuary derives from Latin voluptarius, “devoted to pleasure,” from voluptas, “pleasure.”

Dictionary.com Entry and Pronunciation for voluptuary

You Decide.

There was a recent influx of comments on an entry from January. Help me out here. How should I respond to such eloquent troll attempts as these?

Macs are so cool, 2 buttons in the pc is way to confusing.
Macs are the gooder!!!111
posted by Mega (link)

When upgrading a pc i had to open that metal box and stick stuff in and it was way to hard with my mac i just throw it away and go buy a new one
posted by jerry sprignger (link)

When buying games for the mac its so easy. For the PC theres like 100 games, for the mac theres just 6. when telling kids about my mac they were worshipping me, they were like, wow dude your the biggest noob ever. I was so proud.
posted by Jim T Bone (link)

macs go grate with my voltswagon beatle and all my other homosexual apperal that i put in my house,(my parents basement) yea im 40 and i live with my parents, thats why macs are for me because i suck at life and so do macs, teh colors are soo c00l
posted by MacsAre4newbs .com (link)

macintosh is 1337 hardcore , linux whats that?, all i know is that macs have a FRUIT as there logo so apparently they are FRUITY which is why i like them
posted by adsf (link)

Looks like some kids using RoadRunner over in Columbus, Ohio (sorry, Mike) need a good lesson in grammar and punctuation. They made me laugh, not with them, but at them. Tsk.

A somewhat true story of an Induhvidual

I love this quintessential story from the latest DNRC (Dogbert’s New Ruling Class) newsletter…

“Observant DNRC members continue to send me true quotes of Induhviduals. After staring at the list for a while I realized that if I put them together they make an excellent story:”

We were sitting on our hands, twiddling our thumbs, when suddenly the door opened. It made the hair on my back stand on end. He was smoking like a fish and swearing like a stuck pig. I could tell from his shifty eyes that he might try to pull the fox over my leg.

“Do you have a pen?” he asked. “I need to make a mental note.”

I didn’t want him to stick my pen into his ear, but I also didn’t think it would be a good idea to rattle the barrel because the monkeys might shoot the fish. So I offered my pen.

“Do you seriously think I came up the river on a banana tree?” he growled before slapping the pen from my hand.

I wanted to fight him, but I already had too many hands in the fire. Still, you have to kill the stone with the bird while you can. He was slow as Moses. I kicked him where the moon don’t shine. I didn’t want to beat a dead bush, so I waited for his next move. The ball was in his camp now. He didn’t look like he had both oars in his basket, but maybe I was trying too hard to read between the tea leaves.

If you are not a member of DNRC (and I have been since 1997), join now and be a part of the elite.